THE WAR BETWEEN THE KATES
by Barry Stewart Mann
SCENE 5. Mr. Price’s classroom. Several days later. The Kates are not near each other.
MR. PRICE: That was one of the worst things about the war. Families were torn apart. Brothers fought against each other on opposite sides. Well, let’s get to our worksheet questions. Number One: What color uniforms did the soldiers wear?
(Several hands shoot up.)
ANDRE: Mr. Price, I think is was blue and gray. But I forget which side wore which color.
MR. PRICE: Can anyone help him? Tami?
TAMI: The North wore blue uniforms and the South wore gray uniforms.
MR. PRICE: Very good. Number Two. How did the War end? Shane?
SHANE: Well, they met at some place called Apple Mantis or something like that and decided to stop fighting.
MR. PRICE: Yes . . . but can anyone say a little more? Candace?
CANDACE: Um, I think the South was losing so they surrendered.
MR. PRICE: Right! At Appomattox Court House, Shane. General Robert E. Lee officially surrendered to General Ulysses S. Grant.
MR. PRICE: Justin?!?
JUSTIN: That’s just like Kate and Kate!
MR. PRICE: What?
JUSTIN: Kate Grant and Kate Lee!
OTHER STUDENTS: Yeah! That’s right. Kate Grant. Kate Lee.
MR. PRICE: That is true. Katelyn Grant and Katherine Lee. Kate G. and Kate L., stand up. Isn’t that amazing? Your great-great-great-great-great-grandfathers could have been the generals of opposing armies. What do you think of that?
(The KATES stand, looking shell-shocked. Everyone OOOHHHHs. The sound of a bell.)
SCENE 6. Playground. Later that day. A game of Red Rover. On one side, CANDACE, BECCA, BETHANY, KATE G., JUSTIN, and ANDRE. On the other side, in a huddle, ROCHELLE, TAMI, MAYA, KATE. L, PARKER, and SHANE. Throughout the scene, there are appropriate ad lib comments and responses.
PARKER: Come on, team, they think they’re so good. They act like they’re so great at sports but they still can’t break our line. Who should we call over?
ROCHELLE: Call Becca. She’ll never break through.
PARKER: No. Let’s call Bethany. She’s always bragging about how strong she is.
(The others on his team agree.)
PARKER’S TEAM: Red Rover, Red Rover, send Bethany right over.
(BETHANY comes running. She manages to break through between MAYA and KATE L.)
BETHANY: Haha! Well, I think we’ll take Kate L. for our side.
KATE L.: No, pick someone else!
BETHANY: No, Kate, I pick you.
MAYA: She doesn’t want to go. I’ll go.
JUSTIN: No! General Lee has to surrender! General Grant, go get her!
(He starts to push KATE G. out.)
BETHANY: Come on, Kate. Help me bring her over.
PARKER: That’s no fair. Kate G. has to stay in line!
KATE L.: Don’t come near me!
KATE G.: You have to play by the rules!
KATE L: You should talk! What do you care about the rules!
KATE G.: You don’t know what you’re talking about!
JUSTIN and BETHANY: Go Kate Grant!
PARKER and MAYA: Go Kate Lee! (There is general mayhem. . . .)
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